Self-love: for success – and survival
Do you know how important you are? I mean really know, deep down, that you matter?
I ask because this is where the whole self-love thing begins. It starts with knowing your value as a human being, regardless of who you are or what you do.
Your ability to navigate this world successfully is directly related to how much you value yourself – and how willing you are to step up and prove it. That’s what self-love is.
On a daily basis, it means being good to yourself and doing things that support your mental, physical and emotional health. It’s a sustainable, measurable, practical routine that builds resilience: the ability to bounce back when everything goes to hell in a hand cart.
It means taking a stand for the most important thing in your life: YOU.
What does self-love look like?
There are many variations on the theme, but here are some good places to start…
Watch your inputs – what you eat, drink, read and watch – and avoid anything that doesn’t make you feel good. Including people.
Only say Yes when you really mean it. Otherwise negotiate a win-win.
Give your body exercise and fresh air.
Sort out your space – throw stuff out, tidy up, make the bed. Create an environment that makes you happy and doesn’t drain on your energy. Do those little jobs you keep saying you need to get done.
Talk about your problems.
Hang out with people you really like and can relax with.
Spend time doing things that interest you.
Ask for help and support when you need it – which is a tough one for so many people but a genuine life skill!
Because self-love is a practice to a large extent, it benefits from some discipline. You just have to do the things and make them a priority. Even if there’s resistance, even if you think you don’t deserve it, even if you haven’t got time. Because you do have time. There are 168 hours in a week. Work may take up 40 of them, sleep another 56. That leaves 72 hours that are yours to shape however you want.
And when you do something good for yourself, you’ll feel better afterwards. Over time, you’ll notice that you’re not where you used to be. You’re somewhere more positive and feeling stronger.
self-love isn’t SELFISH
You may well spend a lot of your time looking after others; protecting, nurturing, providing, listening and supporting. Perhaps you see it as your responsibility, or your assigned role in the relationship, household or family.
Within that context, self-love and self-care can seem selfish or an indulgence. Equally, admitting you’re struggling can make you feel incredibly vulnerable or that you’re failing or falling short.
But please listen… The world needs your energy, passion and drive desperately. But not the kind of drive that takes you off a cliff.
There’s a point when you need to put the brakes on and it’s not selfish, arrogant or self-indulgent. It’s a survival strategy. Ideally it also kicks in long before you’re just about to hit the ground.
A ‘little and often’ approach works nicely. Even just half an hour doing something that makes you feel good or gives you support ripples out into the rest of your day, giving you more energy, clarity and confidence. And when you’re topped up, you also have more to give, plus a greater capacity to take on challenges and win.
No one benefits when you put yourself on the bottom of the pile. Least of all you.
If you’re run down, stressed or exhausted, your horizons shrink in direct proportion to your resources and resilience. And do you really want a life without pleasure, relaxation and quality time with people you love?
You deserve to thrive. Being good to yourself is where it starts.